Why Paul Merson's Strictly fee won't go to him after crippling addiction battle

Arsenal icon Paul Merson is battling it out to remain in Strictly Come Dancing with a charming quickstep.

Skating through thin ice during Week 3's nerve-wracking elimination, the ex-England star found himself on the brink in the tense dance-off. Nevertheless, he won a reprieve, twirling into another week of dance as the judging panel favoured him over Toyah Willcox, who was shown the door.

Yet, regardless of the outcome, Merson admits he relishes his stint on the celebrated BBC series, finding joy amidst former personal struggles that he's bravely tackled.

The sports commentator has openly shared his past battles with addiction, laying bare his gambling, alcohol and drug demons in hopes of empowering others grappling with similar afflictions through his spirited participation in the show.

"Being an addict and a recovering alcoholic myself... to show people watching this show who have got addictions, that you can go out and do something like this... is so important," Merson saidd. "Because addiction takes you away from everything. That's all it ever does. It wants you on your own," reports Wales Online.

In a move diverging from his past secluded struggles, he articulated his newfound boldness: "Now I'm going in front of millions of people doing something I'm not very good at. I used to think, 'I can't do things like that' but now I've got the opportunity to try."

Merson's strife with gambling and alcoholism is no secret, and his public outcry for changes within the gambling sector follows after confessing to losses up to £7million attributed to his three-decade-long addiction.

He is now barred from all betting firms, and discloses that his earnings, including the six-figure sum he will receive from his Strictly appearance, are now directly transferred to his wife Kate in an effort to prevent him from squandering them on gambling.

He confessed that his gambling issues led him to contemplate suicide "every day", revealing to talkSPORT that he only ever felt relief when he "had nothing left".

"When I got to zero I was like, 'I don't have to do this any more'," he expressed. "How mad is that? I was playing at Aston Villa playing away at Charlton. No one ever shared a room with me because I was gambling and never slept in the afternoon and I wanted to break my fingers so I couldn't pick the phone up - that's how bad the compulsion was."

In another frank disclosure, he also admitted that his struggles persisted during the Covid-19 lockdowns, as he gambled away a £160,000 deposit for a family home on table tennis bets.

Earlier this year, a proud Merson announced he has been clean and sober from alcohol and drugs for five years, having also battled with those addictions during his career. In 1994, he confessed in a press conference that he had a cocaine addiction, with the FA intervening and sending him to rehab.

Penning in the Mail, he remembered how he would consume drugs before training while his addiction also led him to exchange club merchandise to settle escalating debts.

The footballer candidly confessed in his book: "I started going to an all-night pub in Smithfield Market. Drinking on my own and snorting in the toilets," and further revealed, "I'd hail a black cab at 8am to take me up to training and even have a couple of big hits sitting in the back."

He also reflected on darker times saying, "I had bookies chasing me, dealers chasing me. I settled one cocaine debt by handing over my Arsenal blazer and reporting it stolen. Paranoia took over."

Now leading a different life, the former England and Arsenal star enjoys a happier existence. Following a career that spanned clubs like Middlesbrough, Aston Villa and Portsmouth, Paul Merson is now contentedly married, with his net worth estimated at around £12 million.

Marking his eight-year nuptial milestone with wife Kate this summer, the couple has three children - Freddie, Sienna, and Sadie. Before finding stability, Merson's first marriage to childhood sweetheart Lorraine Costin ended in 2001 amidst revelations of his gambling, a union that produced three sons.

His subsequent marriage to Louise Bache, which gave him twin girls, Molly and Maisie, dissolved in 2013 due to continuing addiction issues.

When quizzed about his dancing skills during the 'Strictly' premiere, he humorously commented: 'I've danced three times - they were all at my weddings!"