Lack of time and energy make it challenging for single parents to date - but there's hope
Two thirds of mums and dads have gone on to find a new partner since their last break up - Roger and Janey of ITV's 'Your Mum, My Dad' share their love story
It takes single parents an average of 13 months to fall in love again after a break-up.
A poll of 600 mums and dads who have experienced heartbreak since having a child, found 64% have gone on to find a new partner, despite 63% thinking they would 'never find love again'.
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It emerged 21% were unsure at the prospect, with 59% admitting they lost confidence in themselves, and 53% feared getting heartbroken again.
While 40% were worried about the possibility of causing any friction between them and their child - in case they didn't warm to the idea of a new person in their life.
The study was commissioned by dating app for single parents, Even, which has teamed up with ITV's 'My Mum, Your Dad’ stars, Janey Smith and Roger Hawes, who found each other on the show after both experiencing heartbreak of their own.
Janey said: “After a couple of break ups and heartbreak, I thought that was it for me. I’d pretty much given up hope that I would never find love or trust again - my confidence was at an all-time low, and I convinced myself that I didn’t have the time to date.
“But after my son gave me a much-needed pep-talk, I was able to find the courage to get back into the dating world and created an online dating profile which gave me the confidence to apply for the show.
“That’s when I met Roger, and, as they say, the rest is history.”
The study found 57% believe it’s more difficult for single people with children to find love compared to those without kids. With 15% even claiming they thought they had more chance of winning the lottery than finding ‘the one’ after a breakup, due to prioritising their children (51%).
Other challenges were a lack of energy (31%), and a lack of time (31%). Childcare (18%) and custody stresses (12%) were also cited as other factors that impact starting a new relationship.
However, the point at which those polled shifted their mindset and felt hopeful about their dating journey again was just seven months. To help get there, 27% received support from family and friends, while 26% simply realised their worth.
According to the OnePoll.com data, 16% decided to lead a healthier lifestyle through eating well and exercising.
It also emerged 14% said their children helped them get back on the dating scene, with 51% claiming their son or daughter has been supportive of their dating journey so far.
While 43% said re-entering the world of dating has brought them the joy and excitement they had been missing following their last heartbreak and 45% also felt it had given them the strength to feel great about themselves and take pride in their appearance again.
Commenting on their relationship, Roger said: “Our journey shows that even when hope seems lost, love can find its way back into our lives, so to all the single parents out there feeling uncertain, remember that your story isn’t over.
“Keep your heart open, lean on your support circles, and believe in your worth - love is out there waiting for you, just as it was for Janey and me.”
ROGER AND JANEY’S SIX TIPS TO A SUCCESSFUL DATING JOURNEY AFTER HEARTBREAK
1. Face Your Fears - Courage often comes from stepping outside of your comfort zone. Whether it’s reaching out to an old flame, getting back on the dating apps, or taking a chance on a new relationship. Pushing yourself beyond your usual limits can lead to exciting and unexpected outcomes. Remember, if you don’t try, you don’t get!
2. Take the Plunge and Download Dating Apps - Try a dating app designed for single parents where you can meaningfully connect with other mums and dads. Be patient with the process and enjoy matching and engaging in conversation with new people. Every new connection is a step toward finding someone special.
3. Communication is Key - It can be easy to keep your cards close to your chest, but communication is so important in building and holding onto a healthy relationship. In the early days, keep communication constant. Regular chats, dates, and making plans together help build a strong foundation and reduce self-sabotage tendencies, like making excuses or developing irrational icks.
4. Create Meaningful Moments - Choose date activities that allow you to connect and get to know each other. You really don’t need to do anything too crazy. We love simple outings like dinners, drinks, or even walks, which are all perfect for quality time. The goal is to spend time together in ways that strengthen your bond without the pressure of extravagant plans.
5. Communicate with Your Children - As single parents, it’s so important to keep the lines of communication open with your kids. Make sure they’re comfortable and happy with any new developments in your relationship. Honesty and transparency can help them adjust to changes more easily.
6. Plan Family Activities - It’s important to create opportunities where kids can naturally connect, like casual family gatherings or spontaneous outings. The goal is to let these bonds develop organically, without any pressure, so that everyone feels comfortable and at ease. We like to organise easy, low-pressure outings that involve everyone, like family dinners or day trips.
