Debbie McGee admits she still 'has black days' one year on from Paul Daniels' death
DEBBIE MCGEE has admitted she still struggles to cope with the tragic loss of her husband Paul Daniels as she prepares to mark the first anniversary of his death on Friday.
Debbie McGee admits she still 'has black days' one year on from Paul Daniels' death
Debbie McGee on coping with 'black days' after Paul's death
She revealed that while she has tried to spend time trying new things since Paul's passing, she often has "black days" and finds herself in tears as she remembers their time together.
The 58-year-old added that she has not planned to mark the occasion and will simply see how she feels when she wakes up.
Speaking to Fearne Cotton on Lorraine this morning, she said: "I've just taken Friday off. Since he's died I just haven't really stopped which has been the best thing for me.
"The best thing for me is to keep busy. When I'm having black days, I remember how I feel on a good day."
Debbie said that she doesn't have plans to mark the anniversary of Paul's death
Fearne was sitting in for Lorraine Kelly on the ITV show
When I'm having black days, I remember how I feel on a good day
Debbie went on to add: "I do think about him and cry but I don't allow myself to go too deeply down that black hole.
"I've been through all the anniversaries, birthdays and Christmas without Paul but Friday is a completely different day. I'm just going to get up on Friday morning and see what I feel like doing."
Reflecting on their last few weeks together, Debbie said that they would joke all of the time and she tried to make him as happy as possible.
She recalled the moment she heard the consultant say Paul had a brain tumour, telling Fearne: "When I realised it had gone too far, I thought what would make him happy?
Debbie has been trying new things following Paul's tragic death
Debbie McGee admits she still 'has black days' one year on from Paul Daniels' death
"One of the things I really clung to was that I still got up and put my make-up on and we joked until the end."
Debbie also said that she tries not to feel "guilty" about enjoying her life without Paul as he wouldn't want her to sit around feeling lonely and mourning him.
"Don't feel guilty about enjoying yourself," she told viewers at home who may be in a similar position to her. "You should be happy that person lived."
Lorraine airs weekdays on ITV at 8.30am.