The Apprentice: The 6 most excruciating quotes from the first episode
TONIGHT sees the return of The Appprentice and with it comes a string of excruciatingly brilliant quotes from Lord Alan Sugar's new batch of 18 candidates.
Just some of the best quotes form tonight's The Apprentice
Worryingly, the Amstrad mogul will have to entrust one of the aspiring business men or women to make millions out of his £250,000; and judging by this evening's fishy fiasco, he should be very concerned.
For their first challenge, the ruthless entrepreneurs must turn fresh fish into cash by producing an affordable packed lunch suitable for the city worker.
In typical The Apprentice fashion, the astonishingly self-assured contestants will come up with some of the best one-liners you'll hear all year.
Here are the best quotes from the first episode alone:
Joseph Vilante
I want the cars, I want the girls, but most of all I want the power
Bookie's favourite Joseph Valente actually admits that he has himself down as the next Hugh Hefner:
"I want the cars, I want the girls, but most of all I want the power."
Lord Sugar talks Tinder and it will bring genuine shivers down your spine:
"I'm sure you know of my reputation - I don't like people to suck up to me, because if I wanted to be loved I'd go to Tinder."
Sam opens with Ii'm a wordsmith" and in an instant the rest doesn't even matter
When you need to sell a bucketload of calamari, Sam Curry's your man:
"I'm a wordsmith ... my advice when you're talking about the calamari is bring out the spicing of the cayenne, the sourness of the lemon, the crunchiness ... really kind of set their sensual taste buds."
Mergim Butaja tries to sell fish to a vegan restaurant
Mergim Butaja is convinced that what a vegan restaurant really wants, is fresh fish:
"I'm going to offer you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity ... fresh fish!"
BBC One The Apprentice Launch
Ruth's selling techniques are branded 'crept' by Karren Brady
Ruth Whitely is labelled as "creepy" by Karren Brady she she says this to a passerby:
"Gosh aren't you solid? Aren't you lovely?!"
Scott Saunders is a master at stretching the truth, but will it worK?:
"I've got some fresh fish fingers, I practically scuba-dived and got the fish from the sea."
The Apprentice returns to BBC One tonight at 9pm