I was in denial that my dad had dementia — forgetting two words confirmed the worst

Watching his father struggle to recall the words “white wine” while placing his usual lunch order, Laurence Geller knew something was seriously wrong. It was the first clear sign of the most feared condition of old age. But Laurence admits that, for a time, he was a “dementia denier”. He says: “At that stage I knew. I let it go on for a year or two years longer than I should have, saying it’s just ageing or this.”

A decade later, the real estate investor and hospitality mogul is now the UK’s largest philanthropic donor to dementia care and owns a chain of luxury Loveday & Co care homes that are hoping to reinvent the sector. His dismay at the state of care when his parents needed it has led him to invest around £8million in research and projects, giving away three quarters of his wealth. The Express spent a day at the latest home to open its doors, Loveday Esher in Surrey, where prices start at £2,000 a week, subject to care assessment and schedule.

Laurence describes Loveday, which offers high quality care with an innovative and personalised approach, as “the biggest test kitchen for ageing and for dementia in the country”. The care homes provide both residential and day memberships for older typically aged 60 and over, although this is flexible depending on need.

The first site, Chelsea Court Palace in West London, opened in late 2016. “It was a bit of an experiment”, says Laurence, who is married to Jennie Churchill, Winston Churchill’s great-granddaughter.

“My son and I were passionate, and we wanted to reinvent the care home. For the first few weeks, we had three customers in and I thought I was going to shoot myself. But it took off, and the ethos proved not just to be popular but it was life-extending.”

This ethos includes a focus on tailored care, reduced reliance on psychiatric medications, world-class hospitality, and food that is both nutritious and enticing. Laurence — who trained as a chef before working his way up the ladder to lead hotel brands including Holiday Inns and Hyatt — explains: “I know you eat with your eyes.”

Laurence worked with the University of West London, where he serves as Chancellor, to develop a menu of 200 items. The only noticeable difference between our lunch of celeriac soup, beef fillet and dark chocolate tart and fare you might expect at a top restaurant is that the portions are slightly smaller, tailored to the diminished appetites of older people as their metabolism slows.

Loveday Esher is build on the grounds of a former home of prime minister David Lloyd George. Rooms in the 37-suite countryside residence, on 13.7 acres of landscaped gardens, are customised to residents’ needs and tastes, integrating clinical care with a natural setting.

The site also boasts a state-of-the-art gym with hydro treadmill, a beauty and hair salon, a library and tearoom, and a kitchen garden, where members can grow seasonal produce.

Dotted around the home are inspirational portraits of Winston Churchill. Laurence has been the chairman of the International Churchill Society for more than two decades.

Daily activities are designed to offer both physical and mental stimulation while taking note of an individual’s interests and history. One resident had forgotten how to play bridge, so Loveday called in a leading London bridge club to provide expert tuition.

During our visit, we dropped into an arts and crafts session where members were sculpting faces from clay, inspired by carvings in the wood panelling of one of the home’s exquisite lounges.

The entire care programme is designed to help residents and members live well for longer. When Loveday opened, a doctor and an in-house expert were asked to estimate the life expectancy of incoming residents.

The longer of the two estimates was used, Laurence says. “Our job was then to exceed that life expectancy so we had an empirical measure. It knocked our socks off, how well it worked. That gave us courage to expand and charge more.”

So what’s the secret to the model’s success? He smiles: “It’s very simple, they’re having a good time, they don’t want to die.”

The facilities and the care Loveday offers are exceptional, but they do not come cheap. Laurence estimates that it costs around £50 million to open a home in London and around a third less in Esher. This type of investment, he notes, requires “enormous amounts of confidence, stupidity or testosterone!”

But Laurence is not only on a mission to transform care for the upper classes. He wants everything learned at his homes to be shared with the wider care sector and used to improve conditions nationwide.

His current assessment of dementia care in the UK is scathing: “I think the system is absolutely not fit for purpose right now. No two trusts have the same protocols. No two local authorities have the same funding requirements.

“The major conditions strategy [a blueprint for improving outcomes for diseases including cancer, heart disease and dementia published by Rishi Sunak’s government] has been written but you can’t necessarily get the trusts to implement it.
“The physical facilities in many of the trusts are not fit for purpose and frankly more germ factories than anything else, some of them. I believe in research and I also believe that dementia care in this country is really primitive.”

It’s not all doom and gloom though. Laurence is optimistic about the transformative potential of new drugs, technology and artificial intelligence. He is looking to the US, where major providers are investing in facilities that are setting a new standard for hospital care.

And he believes the care industry is on the cusp of the same type of evolution that vastly improved the hotel industry around 50 years ago. “So yes, it’s broken, but it’s fixable,” he adds. “There’s only one problem, I don’t have enough years. I wish I had another 40 years.”

Laurence, who describes dementia as “a plague that doesn’t need to be”, is also working closely with the Government. He was appointed as a ministerial adviser to take on the thorny issue of concussion in sport and, alongside other experts, published the world’s first national guidelines on the topic in 2023.

He advised on dementia for the major conditions strategy and is now leading the Geller Commission, an independent review which aims to reduce dementia-related hospital occupancy in England.

He is forking out around half a million of his own cash to fund the commission and secure its independence, he says. “Is that spending money I have? No. I have to cut back to do it. But I’d rather to do that than go for a month’s holiday or get a bigger car. My tailor is Marks & Spencer. But what I do care about is, I’ve got happy people.”

Laurence adds that he has “never taken a penny out of Loveday”. “I wish I could, I’m half broke, I give away my money. But this has got to be done. If not me, who? If not now, when?

“I don’t believe that in my lifetime — and maybe none of yours — we will see the cure for dementia. But I am going to make sure that people can live longer so they can be around for a cure.”

Asked where his philanthropic streak comes from, Geller says: “I’m Jewish. I grew up in post-war London, the Jewish were refugees. Everybody gave money to everybody else.

“You gave money you didn’t have you, gave a bed in your house, a meal. My parents were broke all their lives — they gave away what they had and what they didn’t. So I learned the culture. I never expected to be anything in life.

“The charitable streak came from the culture of post-war England. It was Jewish, to a degree, but it was London. London got blitzed. Haves and have-nots sort of melded.

“My mother would say, ‘When we were down sheltering in the underground, in a station, you didn’t care who had what. You were just all together trying to avoid the bombs.’”

Around one million people in the UK are thought to be living with dementia, a number projected to rise to more than 1.4 million by 2040.

In the short-term, Laurence would like to see more cash invested in equipment to boost early diagnosis and an educational campaign to change attitudes towards the condition. He adds: “Dementia isn’t a sin, it’s part of growing up. Adult care is part of life.

“I can guarantee that every one of these people [living at Loveday] have contributed mightily to the society that you enjoy, that your kids and grandchildren will enjoy. These people are not to be shunted off, saying, ‘They’re old’. They are to be venerated. They made us, and we are them but a step or two away.

“There are other cultures around the world I see where older people are venerated. Here, we don’t venerate, we at best tolerate.”

Despite claiming he “wouldn’t have known how to spell dementia” before his parents were diagnosed, Laurence has poured his heart and money into improving the care industry — and he has no intention of slowing down.

“If I knew now what I knew when my parents were here, I’d have made their lives longer and better,” he adds. “They died six years apart, both with comorbidities but dementia was the killer.

“I was a dementia denier. I didn’t want my parents to have dementia so I denied it. I'm ashamed of myself, so I’m making up for it.”