VIDEO: Think your kid's bad? Our HILARIOUS video guide to raising a demon baby
ROSEMARY'S BABY to The Fly and Ghostbusters: We take a look at the perils of scary babies on film with handy hints and hilarious (or terrifying) clips
Rosemary's Baby
Being a parent is tough enough at the best of times.
But you might look more kindly on your dear little rugrats (or those of friends and family) after you've seen this gruesome selection from The Omen, The Fly, Ghostbuster 2 and more.
After checking out this bunch of mothers dealing with curses, killer dolls, devil babies and a spectacularly unfortunate half-fly/half-human shocker, Peppa Pig on repeat and baby barf on your new dress suddenly seems manageable.
Inspired by the home entertainment release of blockbuster horror film Annabelle, we've put together some handy tips to deal with the most trying of situations.
Just because there’s a demonic presence haunting your nursery, it doesn’t mean you can’t raise your children in a wholesome and healthy fashion.
So, for those who are expecting or currently dealing with their own little bundle of antichrist joy, here are some essential parenting tips from cinema history.
Rosemary's Baby - What have you done to its eyes
Help With Conception Is Available
As Seen In: Rosemary’s Baby
While some couples conceive easily, others may find it a long and arduous process.
Modern medicine offers many solutions and remedies, but none are quite as effective as a good old-fashioned pact with the devil.
However, as with all fertility treatments, it can come at a high price.
You know, such as giving up your baby to the neighbourhood satanic cult for an eternity of evil-doing.
Devil's Due Official Trailer #2 (2014) - Allison Miller, Zach Gilford Horror Movie HD
Expect Pregnancy Symptoms
As Seen In: Devil’s Due
Each pregnancy is different, with its own unique side effects and symptoms.
Some expectant mothers get morning sickness, swollen feet or strange food cravings.
Mothers expecting devil children might have bursts of demonic rage, super-human strength or telekinetic abilities.
This can be challenging but also comes in handy to threaten dads-to-be when he won’t help with your piles cream.
Annabelle Movie CLIP - Falling Books (2014) - Horror Movie HD
Prepare For Baby’s Arrival
As Seen In: Annabelle
When baby comes you’ll be rushed off your feet, so it’s best to get ready now.
You’ve probably researched baby monitors, car seats, cots and other gear already, but no nursery is complete without a genuine possessed doll.
Get one that’s as evil looking as possible, and can terrify family members by creeping around the house at night or eerily changing positions when no one’s looking.
Home, sweet hellish home.
The Fly (1986)
You Never Know What You're Gonna Get
As Seen In: The Fly
However many times you’ve gone over your ideal 'birth plan', labour can be so unpredictable you must be prepared for anything.
For instance, you may have planned for a natural or water birth, but find doctors advise against it on the day.
You may also have expected to have a normal human baby, but end up having a giant maggot monster creature instead.
As long as it’s healthy, that’s the important thing.
IT'S ALIVE 1974 TRAILER
Make Baby Feel Safe
As Seen In: It’s Alive
Becoming a mum or dad is daunting, but your parental instincts will kick in and you’ll soon be wondering what all the fuss was about.
The most powerful instinct of all is to keep you baby safe and protected.
Sometimes you may have to protect the world from your bonny baby.
Especially if your child is a deranged mutant who will leap out of the baby-bouncer whenever it’s scared and bite granny’s head off.
Tub Of Goo
Get A Bath-Time Routine
As Seen In: Ghostbusters II
A nice bath should help baby sleep well.
Be careful of the water temperature though, as babies can have very sensitive skin.
Also, some children will be endlessly pursued by a plague of evil spirits, in which case the bathroom taps may produce ectoplasmic slime instead of water.
Be sure to dip your elbow in first to double-check.
The Omen 1976 - Father Brennan Death
Encourage Creativity
As Seen In: The Omen
Creativity is key to any child’s development, so you should try and harness it.
Activities can include painting, building toys, or make-believe play.
Some children, especially those called Damien (which is asking for trouble), may even show an aptitude for horribly murdering your friends and family and then making it look like an accident – such as random decapitations or skewering the vicar on the church steeple.
Be proud of their initiative while steering them away from actual killing sprees.
pet sematary - the best scenes
Watch Them At All Times
As Seen In: Pet Semetary
As soon as they’re able to crawl, kids can wander off.
You only have to take your eyes off them for five seconds and they can get up to all sorts of mischief.
It’s important to be vigilant, particularly if there are busy roads nearby or tripping hazards – or if your toddler is actually a bloodthirsty zombie-child who enjoys sneaking off to hack the neighbours to death.
Honestly, the things kids do!
Annabelle is out now on Digital HD and available on Blu-ray and DVD February 23
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