Tories had one chance to salvage an election win - now it's completely gone for one reason
The Tories might still have salvaged a few seats had they gone for some bold policies, writes Fergus Kelly
Just over 18 months ago, I invoked the late, great Terry Thomas’s “absolute shower” catchphrase here, to describe Conservative MPs as they embarked on a headless stampede to ditch Boris Johnson and then Liz Truss in a matter of months.
This month, Rishi Sunak had barely time to wring himself out after announcing the general election in an actual downpour (is that why his expensive suits always appear to finish an inch or so too high up his leg?) before another boatload of the parliamentary party baled out on him.
Yet even most of those who have clung on as the Tory ship heads remorselessly for the rocks on July 4, are, as Edmund Blackadder once so memorably observed of a simpering potential marriage partner for the Prince Regent he served as butler: “wetter than a haddock’s bathing costume”.
You can tell how grim things are for Sunak when it’s him, as sitting PM, who’s desperate for more TV debates in the hope of tripping up Keir Starmer.
Until now, it’s always been opposition leaders clamouring for airtime. In contrast, the Labour leader knows he’s nothing to gain from more exposure while sitting on such an apparently unassailable opinion poll lead. Best to hold his nerve by holding his tongue, except to utter the utmost banalities, preferably with a Union Jack located never more than a couple of feet away.
Once it’s all over, be certain that he and his government will once more treat voters with the sort of indifference exhibited towards the football by that corporate section at Wembley that’s always empty when the Cup Final restarts after half-time.
The Tories might still have salvaged a few seats had they gone for some bold policies. Abolishing inheritance tax, pledging to leave the European Court of Human Rights with immediate effect, and dropping all the absurd Net Zero deadlines while promising lots of new licences to drill for oil and gas in the North Sea, would have been a start.
But campaigning for any of those would merely further divide what’s left of the party.
Instead there’s a tired National Service proposal that’s already unravelling and will only apply to a fraction of school-leavers anyway.
So what are we left with?
A very long five weeks to come, and a turnout to match the electorate’s complete lack of enthusiasm.
