Funniest UK football chants: Peter Crouch beats Sweet Caroline and Vindaloo
A survey of football fans has crowned the Peter Crouch terrace anthem 'He's tall, he's red, his feet stick out the bed' as the funniest UK football chant.
'He's tall, he's red, his feet stick out the bed' — Peter Crouch's chant has claimed the number one position among football supporters, just edging out Neil Diamond's Sweet Caroline into second place. Fat Les' 1998 classic Vindaloo completed the top three, securing the final podium spot in the study by Stonegate Group.
However, it's not just traditional anthems proving popular on the terraces, with contemporary chants such as “Rice, Rice baby” and playful tributes to Harry Maguire keeping supporters entertained. The chanting tradition extends beyond the stands too, with half of supporters confessing they've sung football songs in both the pub and the stadium (52%), while a further 30% have participated at family occasions.
From celebrations (21%) and holidays (16%) to the workplace (10%), public transport (9%) and even weddings (4%), the findings reveal football passion can emerge virtually anywhere. Yet when it comes to replicating that same enthusiasm at home, the nation is divided
Of the 2,000 English and Scottish football fans surveyed, 36% say they sing along often or very often while watching from the sofa, whereas an equal 36% acknowledge they rarely or never participate.
The study arrives ahead of Stonegate Group's “Roar of the Nation” challenge, in partnership with Heineken, which will also run competitions through Stonegate's loyalty app MixR.
This will take place across venues in England and Scotland, including The Minories in London, The Moot Hall Arms in Leeds and Akenside Traders in Newcastle. The campaign invites supporters to cheer at the tops of their voices during Scotland and England matches, with pubs going head-to-head against rival venues for the title of the loudest and most passionate fan base.
Fresh sound data from Stonegate Group crowns The Minories in London as the noisiest venue in the UK, after it registered a deafening 133.9dB during England's opening fixture.
The thunderous roar was captured in the moments following Rashford's expertly taken goal — England's fourth of the match. At 133.9dB, this is comparable to a jet engine at take-off (130–140dB) and louder than an ambulance siren or even the bone-shaking racket of a pneumatic drill (120–130dB).
This places England firmly ahead of Scotland in the decibel rankings. Scotland's best effort so far stands at 121.6dB, recorded at The Chanter in Edinburgh following McGinn's stunning opener against Haiti.
Kay Bartlett, Chief Marketing Officer at Stonegate Group, said: "Football tournaments are all about shared moments, atmosphere and traditions.
"There's nothing quite like watching a huge match and enjoying the experience surrounded by fellow fans in a packed pub. Our 'Roar of the Nation' campaign will allow us to measure the atmosphere in pubs across England and Scotland during the World Cup to see where the loudest fans and experiences of the tournament can be enjoyed."
Craig Woolley, Marketing Activation Director at HEINEKEN UK, said: "Nothing beats the buzz of the pub when our home teams are playing.
"From the first chant to the final whistle, it's where fans come together to share the tension, excitement and pure joy of the big occasion — and we can't wait."
Top 10 football chants
- “He's tall, he's red, his feet stick out the bed, Peter Crouch!” – Peter Crouch
- Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond
- Vindaloo – Fat Les
- “Rice, Rice Baby” – Declan Rice
- “Harry Maguire, he drinks the vodka, he drinks the jaeger, his head is f***ing massive!” – Harry Maguire
- “Southgate you're the one, you still turn us on, football's coming home again” – Gareth Southgate
- “Bowen's on fire and he's dating Dani Dyer” – Jarrod Bowen
- “Walking in a Shearer Wonderland” – Alan Shearer
- “Jordan Pickford's got tiny arms” – Jordan Pickford
- “Jamie Vardy's having a party” – Jamie Vardy
Full list of participating venues for the 'Roar of the Nation' challenge
ENGLAND (England games only)
London – Director's Box (1 Crossrail Place, Canary Wharf)
London – The Minories (64–73 Minories)
Birmingham – Walkabout (Langley Buildings, Regency Wharf)
Manchester – The Vine, Sale (133 Washway Road, Manchester M33)
Leeds – The Moot Hall Arms (11 Mill Hill)
Newcastle – Akenside Traders (Dean Street)
SCOTLAND (Scotland games only)
Glasgow – Walkabout (128 Renfrew Street)
Edinburgh – The Chanter (30–32 Bread Street)
