Victoria Wood’s finest hour? The Ballad of Barry and Freda (Let’s Do It)
FROM her debut on New Faces while still a student in the 1970s to her death today Victoria Wood stood apart from, and many people would concede, head and shoulders above, most of her contemporaries.
Victoria Wood died aged 62 after battling cancer
Her humour was deeply rooted in a post-war Englishness and, like a female Alan Bennett, she particularly drew on her northern up-bringing.
From her early work with fellow northerner Julie Walters, through her one-woman shows, to Acorn Antiques and Dinnerladies the comedy stemmed from the famous British sense of reserve, a stoical northern resignation, and mixed with flashes of the magical and extraordinary.
This was no more perfectly observed than in her most famous song ‘The Ballad of Barry and Freda’, more commonly known as ‘Let’s Do It’.
Enjoy Victoria Wood’s performance of ‘The Ballad of Barry and Freda’ below.
Victoria Wood - The Ballad of Barry and Freda (Lets Do It)
Full lyrics to Victoria Wood’s The Ballad of Barry and Freda
Freda and Barry sat one night
The sky was clear, the stars were bright
The wind was soft, the moon was up
Freda drained her cocoa cup.
She licked her lips she felt sublime!
She switched off Gardener's Question Time
Barry Cringed in fear and dread
As Freda Grabbed his tie and said:
Wood started her career in New Faces while still a student in the 1970s
Let's do it, let's do it, do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling, appealing,
I've really got an appetite.
I'm on fire
with desire-
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!
But he said:
I can't do it, I can't do it,
I don't believe in too much sex
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.
No derision,
My decision:
I'd rather watch the Spinners on the television.
I can't do it, I can't do it tonight.
So she said
Let's do it, let's do it, do it till our hearts go boom
Go native,
Creative,
Living in the living room.
This folly
for jolly;
Bend me backwards on me hostess trolley!
Let's do it, let's do it tonight.
But he said
I can't do it, I can't do it, my heavy-breathing days are gone.
I'm older, feel colder;
It's other things that turn me on.
I'm imploring-
I'm boring-
Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring!
I can't do it, I can't do it tonight.
The comedian's humour was deeply rooted in a post-war Englishness
Then she said
Let's do it, let's do it, have a crazy night of love!
I'll strip bare,
I'll just wear
stilettos and an oven glove!
Don't starve a girl of a palaver,
Dangle from the wardrobe in your balaclava.
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!
But he said
I can't do it, I can't do it,
I know ill only get it wrong.
Don't angle
For me to dangle,
My arms have never been that strong;
Stop pouting!
Stop shouting-
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
I can't do it, I can't do it tonight.
Let's do it, let's do it, share a night of wild romance!
Frenetic,
Poetic, this could be your last big chance!
To quote Milton,
To eat stilton,
To roll with gay abandon on the tufted wilton!
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!
I can't do it, I can't do it,
I've got other little jobs on hand.
Don't grouse
Around the house
I've got a busy evening planned.
Stop nagging!
I'm flagging;
you know as well as i do that the pipes want lagging.
I can't do it, I can't do it tonight.
Wood's comedy stemmed from the famous British sense of reserve and a stoical northern resignation
Let's do it, let's do it, while I'm really in The mood...
Three cheers!
It's years
Since I caught you even semi-nude.
Get drastic,
Gymnastic-
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic but
Let's do it, Let's do it tonight!
I can't do it, I can't do it,
I must refuse to get undressed
I feel silly.
It's to chilly
To go with out my thermal vest.
Don't choose me,
Don't use me
My mother sent a note to say you must excuse me.
I can't do it, I can't do it tonight.
Victoria wrote her first sitcom Dinnerladies in 1998
Let's do it, let's do it, I really absolutly must.
I won't exempt you,
Want to temp you,
Want to drive you mad with lust.
No contortions:
Smear an avocado on my lower portions!
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!
I can't do it, I can't do it,
It's really not my cup of tea;
I’m harassed,
Embarrassed;
I wish you hadn’t picked on me.
No barter —
A non-starter;
I feel about as sensuous as Jimmy Carter
I can't do it, can't do it tonight.
Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to run amok!
Let's wriggle!
Let's jiggle!
Let's really make the rafters rock!
Be mighty,
Be flighty come and melt the buttons on my flame-proof nightie!
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!
Let's do it, let's do it, I really want to rant and rave!
Let's go,
Cos i know just
Just how you want to behave:
Not bleakly,
Not meekly-
Beat me on the bottom with the Woman's weekly-
Let's do it, let's do it tonight!