Labour's war on pubs is a shame on Great Britain – we should all be outraged
OPINION - SEBASTIAN MURPHY: The Labour Party has clearly never heard the prohibition of kicking a man while he's down.
Chief among many annoyances London serves up is the inability to sit in a pub. I’ll battle through hordes of human traffic on Westminster streets cursing the friend who won’t meet anywhere that isn’t central. The crowds! The noise! The stress! The sheer injustice of these obstacles after a hard day's work. The boozer brings no respite – it's so packed that punters swell out into the street, forming a hellish halo at its entrance. I dodge through them with lots of “sorry, mate” and shoulder-tapping to find a flash-mob queueing for drinks.
It feels fundamentally unfair, like someone’s playing a practical joke. I get served, scan the pub and see every seat is taken. I can’t stand anywhere because the layout puts me permanently in somebody’s path. So after paying over £7 for a Guinness, I drink standing on the pavement. Should have just brought cans to the river.
I should also channel my girlfriend’s father, who gets visibly excited when he sees busy venues – he finds reassurance in the sight of a business booming and the implied economic security. I should. But I don’t.
Pubbing in London invites the notion that the only challenge landlords face is dealing with the sheer number of customers and counting massive takings. But pub closures have doubled over the last five years, including 200 going under in the first six months of 2025. In the first quarter of this year, almost two British pubs closed every day.
I know some think our boozers are a frivolous, unhealthy indulgence. But they're as much a part of British culture as football, the monarchy, Christianity and sarcasm. Pubs are kind of secular churches that bring people together. The importance of this cannot be overstated in an age in which eyes are glued to screens for an average of 7.5 hours a day.
My local, Connolly’s in Chiswick, is full of regulars who turn up independent of one another for a pint, a chat or a cup of tea because they're guaranteed to see someone they know. So it’s utterly unacceptable that our Government does them harm.
I know Britain’s in a bad state, that the plight of our pubs isn’t top of No 10’s agenda and I don’t expect gargantuan intervention. But the least they could do is reverse the job-killing rise in Employers’ National Insurance and business rates and stop taxing us quite so much for a pint in which they had no hand in producing.
Perhaps if pubs weren’t squeezed into closure, perhaps if some were even reborn under a lighter-touch economy, the crowds would be spread a little thinner and I wouldn’t risk feeling like an unwilling contestant on Gladiators when venturing downtown for a Guinness.
A welcome change
Speaking of pubs, I've written previously about selfish parents who treat boozers and beer gardens like their own front room, allowing their children to race around screaming as they slosh themselves into solipsism. The inevitable howling that ruins a quiet drink became almost ubiquitous after the lifting of lockdown.
A cultural shift appeared to have taken place by which people were incapable of exhibiting basic consideration for their fellow patrons. This was particularly a problem at the pub nearest my home and seemed intractable given the amount of money these groups spend. But that pub caught up. It now leaves the large gates to its garden wide open, spilling onto the pavement and, if one isn't careful, the road.
Suddenly parents aren't so keen on letting kids go feral.
Am I being daft?
A loud American in her sixties sat next to me on the Tube the other day only to launch into a discussion about death, death doulas and how she'll "just go to Switzerland" when her time comes. She wasn't talking to me, but such was her projection that I couldn't concentrate on my reading. As a certified neurotic, I worry about death a lot.
So I wonder if public transport is the place for such chats? I've been burnt on such matters before, when I was unable to avoid the sight of a realistic spider tattoo on a woman's leg. I felt it would have been proper to cover it up before boarding, to shield us phobes. I sat silently fuming. I was later assured that I was being ridiculous.
Stop doing this now
Another damning lockdown legacy seems to be a preponderance for sinister face-coverings among young men. Before lockdown, I only saw face coverings worn by activists on protests (put a face to your argument, cowards) and by those of East Asian origin anxious not to pass on their germs (which, though it looks weird, is very polite).
But the valorisation of medical masks during the Covid pandemic normalised face-coverings in everyday life. Those very masks are now used as disguises on protests, ironically giving self-righteous lefties the look of retro Millwall hooligans. At least they can pretend they're doing it for public health. In some cases that might actually be the truth. Balaclavas though? That has to stop.
