Jimmy Bullard and David Haye's rant at I'm a Celeb reunion proves 1 thing about 2 stars

ITV made a massive miscalculation with their ill-tempered, grating I’m A Celebrity final. They forgot most of the show was shot at the end of 2025 so contestants would be able to watch it going out. Usually, participants don’t find out the way they’ve been edited until they are safely tucked away at home. Having viewed the footage, Jimmy Bullard and David Haye arrived in the studio seething. Both felt Adam Thomas’s – in my view understandably – furious expletive-laden reaction to seeing what he thought was his time on the show deliberately curtailed by Bullard had been sanitised for Thomas’s benefit.

Right or wrong, both had clearly lost their grip on the one starkly immutable reality of ‘reality’ TV. If you take the cheque, you sip from a poisoned chalice. There will be an edit, and it might not go in your favour. Protesting only makes you look like a bad sport, too thick to realise programme makers have all the power.

The public will only ever see the edited footage so no one will ever know if you have been wronged and only you will ever care. Bullard and Hayes unforgivably trampled over the programme’s light-hearted entertainment vibe.

They took themselves far too drastically seriously. Poor old Ant and Dec, who must have been itching to give them a verbal drubbing, were hindered by their frothy remit. Professional funsters can’t punch celebrities in the kisser, even if they richly deserve it. The whole farrago was a monstrous mistake – but, by golly, what magnificent viewing!

Cynthia Erivo hits us with a revelation... and I'm not talking about London Marathon time!

Astounding that Wicked star Cynthia Erivo, 39, completed the London Marathon in a mere three hours and 21 minutes. The woman is supersonic. Just two nights before, I saw her perform an inhumanly taxing thespian miracle playing all 27 parts in Bram Stoker’s Dracula on the West End stage.

In one hour 50 minutes with no interval, she chills the audience to the bone, ignites with horrifying evil, grows pointed vampire incisors and melts with incandescent passion. Her stamina is so fiercely formidable I assumed she collapsed, prostrate on to a chaise longue between performances and revived herself with fortifying gulps of chicken soup.

The revelation that, far from resting and recuperating, Erivo was pounding the streets training for and thoroughly trouncing the Marathon has floored me. I am in awe. We all need bucket-loads of Erivo’s energetic stoicism. Someone dash to persuade her to write the self-help book everyone needs.

Congratulations are in order!

Congratulations to my dear chum Sara Cox who has finally been given the show she should have been presenting all along. She’s a natural fit for Radio 2 Breakfast. She’s positive, hilarious, sweet-tempered, a sunny morning person and a thoroughly decent woman beloved of family, friends and colleagues.

Zoe Ball is delightful and an adored radio talent, but her life in Brighton and family demands made it unlikely she’d want to rise before dawn and schlep into Broadcasting House long-term.

Scott Mills? Who knows what will be revealed in time, but it sounds as if there had always been some kind of hovering question mark over his suitability. Sara is a unique radio voice with an unerring sense of gentle, yet unpredictable humour, coupled with consummate professionalism. She’s the perfect fit.

Listeners love continuity. Controllers Lorna Clarke and Helen Thomas’s poor choices have robbed the audience of the reassuring comfort of familiarity. Thank goodness Sara has finally been summoned to the rescue.

Absolutely mind-boggling

We love quiz shows because they expose yawning gaps in general knowledge. Wasn’t it mind-boggling that brain box Roman Dubowski from Stockport merrily and correctly answered the million pound question: “Used since 1876, which trademarked logo is described in James Joyce’s novel Ulysses and depicted in works by Manet and Picasso?” “Bass Ale”, but nearly fell at the £1,000 hurdle?

The question that almost brought him to his knees: “What is mixed with vinegar, mustard and oil to make a basic mayonnaise?” The options were “plain flour, salted butter, egg yolk or double cream”.

I still can’t believe anyone familiar with the arcane and mystifying novels of Joyce doesn’t know egg yolks are a key ingredient of mayonnaise. How could Dubowski have reached the age of 63 without realising so pivotal a fact of life? Were the Dubowski’s raised on good old Heinz salad cream perhaps?

A question for Keir Stamer...

One-hundred and twenty private schools have closed since the Government charged VAT on school fees. How has this benefitted anyone in the land?

Teachers are jobless. Support staff are UB40. Children have had their studies interrupted and their friendship groups nuked. State schools will be forced to use dwindling resources to pick up the slack. Contrary to belief fostered by the politics of envy, most private school parents are not fabulously wealthy landed gentry.

They are simply working people who prioritise education. Labour’s malevolent move has priced them out of the private school market altogether.

This small-minded swingeing punishment for people trying to do the best they could for their children penalises precisely the ‘ordinary families’ Keir Starmer constantly claims to want to help. Does he consider this policy a success?